LAS3: Retold Chapter 23

Chapter XXIII: Resting at Home

After getting the fifth egg in the Beanbean Kingdom, Luigi and his two party members flew back to the Mushroom Kingdom with the Waluigi Flyer.
"Home should be just ahead," Luigi announced to his passengers. "I'll fly over the Toad Town Port first to see if the others even got here yet."
"Look! There it is!" Yosheta pointed to the behemoth S.S. Garlic when the port came into view.
"Clouds! Delicious fluffy clouds!" Waluigi blurted out.
"I'm taking you straight home if you keep that up, mister," Luigi said seriously.
The Waluigi Flyer flew toward the S.S. Garlic and descended. Luigi wasn't as experienced as Waluigi, so the landing was a little bumpy. Everyone was fine, but Waluigi was still acting up and wouldn't walk on his own. He rode Yosheta while she and Luigi walked through Toad Town.
"Listen up, Waluigi. I'm not letting you in my house if you keep acting like that. So knock it off!"
Waluigi quickly shook his head. "Okay... I'm okay. I got it out of my system now."
When the trio reached the warp pipe that lead to Luigi's house, they entered it one at a time. On the other end, Mario and the rest of Luigi's friends were just about to go inside the house when Luigi arrived.
"Huh?" Mario uttered when he heard the familiar sound of someone using the pipe. "Oh. There you are, Luigi. Where did you run off to?"
Luigi grinned as he held up the newest addition to his egg collection. He didn't even need to say anything.
"What the-?!"
"Wow!" Purpley squealed. "You're fast!"
"The guy really knows how to do his job," Amy remarked. "But whatever happened to Yosheta?"
As if answering her question. Yosheta poked her head out of the warp pipe and waved. "Hi, guys!"
"Ah. You got her back after all."
"Now where's that idiot brother of mine?" Wario asked. "He was with you, right?"
Waluigi popped out of the pipe right on cue.
"Oh..."
"Good," Mario sighed with relief. "I was worried for awhile, but it looks like all three of you are safe."
"Sorry about that," Luigi apologized. "But the trip wasn't exactly planned. Mouser came and scooped up Yosheta. I wasn't about to let him get away with that!"
Mario applauded. "You did some good multi-tasking. Bravo."
"Can we go inside and relax now?"
"Yes. Of course. Come on in."
Mario opened the door and allowed everyone in. Wario and Waluigi sat down at the kitchen table while the yoshis went to the bedroom to rest.
"Oh...my...gosh..." said Amy. "I'm in Luigi's house!"
Luigi watched as his fan flopped onto the ground and twitched a lot. He didn't quite know what to make of it.
"You're overreacting a bit, don't you think?" Mario asked.
Luigi agreed. "I think so too. I mean, this place is a dump right now. We never even finished the spring cleaning."
"Oh well. No time for that now. I've got some studying to do."
Mario and Luigi went to the bedroom where the older brother took a large book off the bookshelf. The book was dusty and the pages had turned yellow due to age.
"Yikes," Luigi said quietly. "That thing is in rough shape."
"Yeah. I think it may be on its last leg. Some of the pages are starting to fall out. I'm considering typing the entire thing sometime."
"Ah. Archiving it on the compy sounds like a good idea to me. Do you know what else sounds good?"
"What's that?"
"Dinner!"
Mario couldn't help but agree with that and got to work on cooking dinner, making sure that he made enough for everyone.
"Here you go, guys," Mario announced when the food was done. "Enjoy!"
The yoshis looked at the food, but they seemed disappointed. The meal looked like little more than sticks.
"Hey! You can't feed us sticks!" Oshi snapped.
"Actually, they're fishsticks and french fries," Luigi laughed. "Don't worry. It's totally edible."
After seeing Luigi eat one, the yoshis decided that it would be fine to eat them as well. Everyone contently ate the food except for Wario. He was too busy skimming through The World of Plit.
"Hey, poindexter," Mario said when he noticed Wario. "Get your nose out of that book and eat."
Wario didn't even look up. "I will in a bit. I'm just looking for another place to look for an egg."
"Oh? Any suggestions?"
"I say we check out the Waffle Kingdom next."
Suddenly, Luigi started gagging. He was in the middle of eating a fishstick when he heard something he didn't like and nearly choked.
Amy jumped out of her chair to assist Luigi. "Whoa! Are you okay?!"
Luigi drank some milk and was able to get it down. "Yeah... I'm okay..." he panted.
"What happened?" Purpley asked.
"Nothing. It's fine. I just thought I heard Wario say we're going to the Waffle Kingdom."
"Well, I did mention it," Wario confessed.
"We are not going there," Luigi said angrily.
The yoshis were confused. "Huh? Why not?"
"I hate that place as much as Mario hates Isle Delfino."
"Actually," Mario piped up. "I've lightened up a little bit. Isle Delfino has its good points."
"What's it matter? I'm pretty sure I got banned from that place anyway. I couldn't even go there if I wanted to, which I don't."
Wario flipped through the pages of The World of Plit. "Well, fine. We can try Rogueport then. Do you have a beef with that place too?"
"No..." Luigi said, calming down a little. "Rogueport is fine. It's filled with hoodlums, but at least not everyone there thinks I'm a total idiot. Sorry, I'm just in a bad mood right now..."
Everyone watched as Luigi got out of his seat and stormed off toward the bedroom.
"Hey. Come back here," Mario called to him. "We weren't trying to upset you. Could you at least tell us where you got the last egg from?"
"Yeah. I want to know too," said Oshi.
Luigi stopped in his tracks and turned around. He was smiling now. "You should ask Yosheta. She played a major role in getting it. I'll let her tell the tale."
"Really?" Yosheta was a bit flattered. She was a huge fan of the stories that Luigi told, but she never thought he would let her tell one for him.
"Sure," Luigi said he reclaimed his seat. "Go for it. I insist."
"Well..." Yosheta began. "I was swimming in the pool with everyone this morning and that gray thing grabbed me and tried to get away. Luigi and Waluigi used this big flying purple thing to save me and then we went to some place with green people. Luigi asked a friend there for some help and Luigi and I went to something called a theater. There were other yoshis there. Some of them talked to me and they were a little scary. Anyway, some guy there gave Luigi the egg, which is really my dad. After that, we left and some big shiny Birdo thing came and attacked us. Of course, Luigi fights it. I felt bad because I haven't been helping much so I kinda tried to make friends with it. It blew up and a real Birdo came out. And it just ran away. It didn't even talk to us. Anyway, we got back in the flying purple thing and came here."
Yosheta's story was so quick and vague that it left everyone, except Luigi, baffled and confused.
"That's...very nice, dear," Pinky tried to say politely to her daughter.
"Pretty good for your first try, but I'll clear things up," Luigi said before he retold the story so that everyone understood.
"Once again, great job multi-tasking," Mario chuckled. "But that Robirdo bit reminds me of Sonic Adventure."
"I thought so too," Waluigi agreed. "Hey. Amy even has the same name as-"
An offended Amy knew exactly what Waluigi was going to say and punted him right in the family jewels. "Call me Chicky!"
"Nooooo!" Waluigi fell onto the floor and covered the tender area. "I'm never gonna score now..."
"Well, I think it's about time we hit the hay so we're ready for tomorrow," Luigi yawned.
The hero went into the bedroom. Before going to bed, he decided to check the items in his back pack first. He looked at his flashlight and thought about how he never had the chance to use it when he noticed Amy near his dresser.
"What are you doing over there?"
"Can I have a souvenir?" Amy answered.
"Did you have something in mind?"
Amy held up a green mug. "Maybe this."
"That's my favorite coffee mug."
"What about this then?" Amy opened the dresser and pulled something out.
"Those are a pair of my boxers!" Luigi snatched the undergarment away.
"How about a lock of hair?"
"Perhaps."
"From your mustache?
"No."
"Sheesh, Chick," Waluigi sneered as he stepped into the bedroom. "Quit annoying the guy, will ya?"
"Well excuuuuuse me!" the girl shot back. "I happen to have the worst case of cabin fever in the history of Plit!"
Waluigi tried to think of a comeback, but failed. "Screw you," he mumbled before leaving the room.
Luigi continued to go through his inventory. He tossed the flashlight in favor of a change of clothes. Afterward, he set the back pack aside and flopped onto the bottom bunk.
"Okay, guys. Time for lights out."
""Wait a minute. Where do I sleep?"
"Oh, sorry about that," Luigi apologized. "There aren't many places to sleep here. We only have enough room for Pinky and Purpley. I'm afraid that you and the others will have to go back to the S.S. Garlic. I'll be there first thing in the morning. Okay?"
"That's kinda lame, but I understand. Good night then."
"Hey, Pinky," said Mario. "You can sleep on the top bunk. I'm not going to bed right away though. I have some reading to do."
After everyone left, Luigi, Purpley and Pinky settled down to sleep. Mario grabbed the Plumber's Log, turned the bedroom light off and went into the kitchen.
"I'd better start right at the beginning," Mario thought he sat down at the table and opened the book to the first page.
Unfortunately, Mario didn't find any useful information during the first half hour. He picked the book up, turned the kitchen light off and clicked on the desk light in the bedroom where he continued the research. He was still unable to find anything of interest however and considered going to bed.
Suddenly, a small voice broke the silence. "Mario?"
"What is it, Purpley?" Mario grumbled. "I'm busy trying to get some info on Wart right now."
"What's this?"
Mario looked up from the pages and toward where he heard Purpley's voice. She was in bed with Luigi and had her head on his chest the way she often did.
"What's what?"
"What's this sound?"
Mario didn't hear anything unusual, so he got out of his seat to have a quick look. He tiptoed up to her and listened. In actuality, he simply had to look at her to answer her query.
"Well, you see, Purpley," Mario said, trying to hold back a chuckle. "That is Luigi's heart."
"Hmmm..." the yoshi murmured. "His heart, huh? Is it like a heart fruit?"
This new question dumbfounded Mario. There was no way she and the other yoshis knew anything about human anatomy. So how can he answer this?
"Maybe. I suppose it could anyway. I don't see why not..."
"Do you have a heart too?"
"Of course, Purpley. You do too. Everybody does."
"Everybody? Even bad guys...like Wart?"
That was another tough question. One that Mario doesn't have an answer to. He tried his best to find one, but he simply couldn't. Even if he found it, Purpley would've never heard it. She had already been lulled to sleep by the steady rhythm of Luigi's heart...